Jeanne Phillips, Dear Abby
Dear Abby: I have always been close to my children, but now that they are adults, I seem to be losing touch with one of them. He married a girl of a different race, and it doesn’t bother me, but I have a strong feeling that he is distancing himself from not only me but other family members because of her. there is.
Recently, when I told him that I felt his wife was a bit too busy and over the line, he told me that he no longer wanted a relationship with me. I don’t think I said anything bad enough to have him completely removed from me or our lives, but I’m not going to force him to be a part of this family anymore.
After I blocked his wife from social media (because she doesn’t interact, stalks her and then reports him), he blocked me. I’m good at dealing with conflict, but he’s steadily growing closer. I love all of my children, but he needs to understand that it’s not all about his wife. We are also his family. I really need help with this.
– Adult mother
Dear Adult Mother: I’ll leave your daughter-in-law and her race out of the discussion for a moment, but the situation you describe sometimes occurs when sons get married. When that happens, the young man’s loyalty switches from his mother and family to his wife.
It’s not outrageous for your daughter-in-law to see your posts and discuss them with your son, especially if your son hasn’t seen the posts himself. Did you post something that she found hurtful or offensive? If the answer is no, you may have to accept that for some reason her son has decided to go in a different direction. I don’t know. If the answer is yes, then apologize and see if it’s possible to bury the hatchet.
Dear Abby: My husband of 30 years and I are separated within the company. We sleep in separate bedrooms. I want a divorce but he refuses to move out even though he can afford to buy another house. Our grown son recently visited and stayed in a camper in the backyard. The camper is next to our pool.
Last Sunday, I looked out the kitchen window and saw my husband standing naked in the pool. Our son was in the camper at the time and when he came out he saw his father standing there. When I asked her husband why she did that, my question was met with anger and she yelled at me that she didn’t want to get her bathing suit wet. Don’t you think this is the act of a fallen human being?
– Ends in Florida Has completed: There is nothing to worry about if your son saw his father naked in the pool. What’s even more concerning is that changes in his usual behavior may indicate a mental or emotional problem and require medical evaluation. (He might be more open if your son suggests it.)
Talk to a lawyer and ask what the ramifications will be if you get divorced. Get answers now, before a crisis occurs.
Dear reader: On this day of celebrating love, I want you to know how much I value our relationship with you. I hope everyone has a Happy Valentine’s Day!
– With love, Abby.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Please contact Dear Abby (www.DearAbby). com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
