Influencer Remi Bader has publicly pleaded with online trolls to stop commenting on her appearance.
The 29-year-old social media star, who has amassed 2.3 million followers on TikTok through her candid reviews of plus-size clothing, recently opened up in an essay about speculation surrounding her weight-loss transformation. Nylon.
In an essay published in May, Bader explained how she’d come to set boundaries with her fans about how much of her personal life she was willing to share online, especially after users began criticizing her for her body.
“I wake up every day realizing I’m lucky to have the job I do and wouldn’t change it for anything. But when you choose not to set your own boundaries online, you become accustomed to people feeling obligated to know every single detail about you, whatever those might be,” Bader wrote. “I became expected to give my entire life to them. My audience felt entitled and I felt beholden.”
The plus-size model said she was grateful to be part of a community that openly discussed body image, but she quickly realized it was starting to take a toll on her mental health. “Right now, I no longer want to make my body or physical health my main topic of conversation,” she said. “That doesn’t mean I’ll decide not to share about my body in the future, but for now, I feel like it’s best for me to prioritize myself and my mental health.”
Bader also acknowledged that critics might argue that negative comments are “natural” for a social media influencer, but revealed that body shaming has contributed to her own poor body image.
“Every day I would see negative comments and messages about how much weight I had gained (or lost) and it made me feel bad about myself and fuelled the illness I was trying so hard to control. That’s when I realised I needed to be selective about what I would and wouldn’t put online,” she said.
Not surprisingly, Bader said she quickly felt “guilt” about her decision to share less about her health and fitness journey with her large social media following. “Am I failing an unspoken obligation by not posting about certain topics? Am I abandoning people? Does abandoning these topics mean I don’t deserve all the benefits this job has given me?” she recalled thinking.
Bader, who recently split from boyfriend Keybet Postel after two years of dating, also spoke about how TikTok helped her rebuild her relationship by documenting their breakup with the online community.
“Equipped with this, and what I’ve learned this year, I intend to be my most authentic self online, but I am making an even greater effort to put my mental health first. To be clear, my body shape doesn’t change what I’ve set out to do all along, which is to advocate for body inclusivity in the fashion and apparel industry. But for the sake of my own mental health, I will be drawing a line here on this topic,” she continued.
“Although I was completely open when this online journey began, that is not my whole story anymore. My shape or size does not define who I am,” Bader said, before reiterating that she would no longer share “anything about my body and health journey that I am not willing to share” on TikTok.
“By sticking with it, I’m setting an example of respecting my own boundaries and ultimately hoping to achieve the same thing I had from the beginning – making a difference, even if it’s just helping one person at a time,” she added.
Bader’s personal essay comes amid ongoing speculation surrounding her recent weight loss transformation. Nylon After the article was published, one Instagram user claimed on her Story that the influencer was “ignoring important issues” by refusing to respond to comments about her appearance, and posted a poll on her Instagram Story asking whether Bader “should be more transparent” with her followers.
The plus-size model appeared to have heard about the Instagram poll, calling the speculation surrounding her weight “horrifying” and stressing her decision to remain silent about her health journey.
“This is a reminder that you are under no obligation to share the details of your health journey with anyone, especially since I have been accused of gaining too much weight for the past 3 years and am still harassed about it on a daily basis,” Bader wrote on her Instagram Story. “Anyone who feels obligated to give any answers about my focus on my mental and physical health should be aware of my Nylon I encourage you to read what I’ve written, if that’s how you feel, take some time to read it, and I hope it helps you feel better and more at ease.”
Bader’s decision to keep details about his health private may not come as a surprise to some fans, considering he previously shared a tearful video in which he denounced “nasty” comments from critics.
In the emotional video, posted to TikTok in September 2023, Bader acknowledged that she’s experienced a “ridiculous amount” of body shaming about “how fat I am, how much weight I’ve gained, how unhealthy I look, and everything else.”
Bader initially thought sharing details about her diet and exercise habits would be “helpful” to people “going through similar struggles,” but changed her mind after recent body-shaming incidents.
“My health journey is my own business going forward. I will not be sharing what I do, whether I gain or lose weight, what medications I take, what supplements I take, what workouts I do, whatever,” she explained. “I don’t understand why that’s allowed online. It’s really awful to shame someone and criticize their appearance on a daily basis.”
The Victoria’s Secret model also broke down in tears as she told the cameras: “It’s really hard to see this every day and it’s really unfair to see something so mean. I try to take care of myself as best I can.”
Bader reiterated her appeal to social media users to “stop commenting on my body because I’m doing everything I can to feel good about myself.”
“I’m not sharing any more with you guys. That’s my decision,” she concluded the candid video.
