By Njiama Smalls
A Black Woman’s Guide to Healing Her Emotional Wounds
I remember my uncle having a ton of girlfriends growing up. He would jokingly call himself a “pimp,” a “player,” and a “G.” He had so many girlfriends that he fathered over eight children with different women. He used sex as a way to numb painful trauma from his past and relied on the oxytocin released by these sexual acts.
Let’s be honest, mental and emotional health has not always been a priority in our communities, so we developed unhealthy coping skills to survive. Maybe your Big Mama cooked and ate delicious food to fill the pain she couldn’t deal with. Maybe you had a wealthy aunt who relied on anger and lashed out when she felt overwhelmed. And maybe your cousin used sex to make her feel valued. These are all harmful learned behaviors that many families have passed on to us for generations.
Today, I am grateful that as a community, we have become more mental health aware. We have worked diligently to remove the stigma attached to mental illness and mental health services. Our Black churches have also begun to join this movement by referring our members to mental health providers and removing the stigma attached to mental health disorders. It is certainly possible to see a therapist while loving Jesus!
As most of you already know, my purpose is to improve the mental health of my community. Please continue this work by purchasing a copy of The Black Girl’s Guide to Healing Emotional Wounds for yourself or a friend. Read it alone, with your family, in your book club, or in a small group. You can also stop by my store to purchase other products that will help you and your family heal.
Wishing you and your family continued healing. Black Mental Health and Harmful Patterns.
This article was originally published in The Black Girl’s Guide to Healing Emotional Wounds.
